When you have tried everything possible to create a breakthrough in your life and you feel that you cannot breakthrough, and have applied all the tricks that you have gained over the years of experience, and you start feeling stuck, what do you do?
Sometimes, you might give up. Giving up can be a natural reaction. Giving up is in its essence explainable. You might give up on reaching your goals, becoming happier, thinking or hoping that your situation could be better. But, is this the only answer?
Realizing that (1) you deserve to be hopeful for a better life, and ultimately (2) you deserve to seek help for a better life are two key milestones on your journey. It’s important to know that even though you haven’t felt that you deserve happiness in the past, you can still change that in the present, today. And once you start realizing that, the first step is to start shining lights onto the dark corners of your life:
- What brings me sadness worry and hopelessness?
- What does me self-talk look like? Am I kind towards myself in difficult times?
- How am I treating the child inside me? Do I have a relationship with her/him? How do I speak to him/her?
- What do I need to solve within myself, to achieve a happier life?
Realizing that your own happiness is independent from external factors is the key. You are in control of your own life and existence. Your thoughts, are the building blocks of your life and happiness. And at the same time, you do not want to suppress your thoughts that do not necessarily bring you happiness but approach them with curiosity:
- Where is this thought coming from?
- What is the trigger for these kind of thoughts?
- How does this thought make me feel?
- Inner-child, why do you think so?
From here, you approach yourself with curiosity towards the situation rather than “no no I shouldn’t be thinking this.” By removing hostility towards yourself, you bring kindness and love to your own self narrative. Try it. And from there, kindness towards yourself spreads through your life and light starts shining on your experiences.
It won’t always be green grass and sunshine, thunder ground tunnels also exist and are essential for you to go through them, sometimes, slowly, to get back to the light, the sun, the grass with a different presence, a kind of presence you have always wanted.
That help you need, can come from yourself towards yourself by seeking or taking that first step to acknowledge that you need help, find the right person or persons to help you and be on your way.