The first thing you might want to consider is becoming aware of your patterns. For example, realizing that whatever reaction you have towards a specific situation, if it is exaggerated, there might be an old pattern there. Or if you find yourself at a stop sign in your life, and you’re unable to proceed further, you might want to consider the possibility of an old pattern.
Basically, almost every day, we react and interact on basis of old patterns. So what are these old patterns? As we are growing up, we become conditioned to certain behaviors. For example, as a child, Betty*, was concerned about her parents’ happiness and comfort. Betty did everything possible as a child to please her parents because she believed this was her task. As a child, you get to be a child not a people pleaser. But, Betty as an adult is facing a burnout at work because she repeatedly repeated these old patterns with her colleagues, her bosses and superiors. One person Betty forgot to take care of was herself. This is because she was not conditioned to take care of herself in her early life nor did anyone take care of her emotional, mental and/or physical needs and wants as a child that is usually the role of the parents.
Patterns develop as we develop early on. We all have them and the more we become aware of them, the better we are equipped to address them with compassion, kindness and love towards oneself. You might want to take baby-steps on figuring out what your patterns are, how you handle certain situations and how you engage with yourself, and your life. That’ll make you a much happier person, and much more comfortable with your own skin.
*Betty is a fictional character the resembles different characters… however, we can resonate with Betty in the different examples that she’s giving us…